A heartfelt story of Durjyo, a successful public speaker who loses his confidence after a mistake leading to a major problem, and how a chance meeting with a wise young boy helps him rediscover courage, hope, and the strength to rise again.
“No, I can’t, Adi. I’m sorry” I shouted as I spoke on the phone as if shouting will solve the problem.
“Please, Durjyo, you worked hard only for this. Why are you stepping back now problemjust because of a small problem?” Adi replied in an equally loud tone.
“I am not stepping back” I tried to explain the problem, “But for some strange reason, my mind goes blank as soon as I reach the stage.”
“Are you even serious? You are a born speaker. Have you forgotten how you rocked theTEDx stage?” Adi said with a frown. “I mean, people invite you for podcasts, and that is only because of your exceptional ability to speak” he continued. “And today, for one stupid mistake, you are giving up on something that excites you the most?” Adi shouted so loudly that it was about to burst my eardrums.
“Adi, it’s my final decision. Inform the organisers of Speaker Slam that I will not be there, and for God’s sake, cancel my tickets to London” I said in a calm voice and disconnected the call hoping that would resolve my problem.
I banged my head hard against the steering wheel. I didn’t know what to think, whether to laugh or cry. But I had taken the right decision to step back, as I was aware of my problem, I am sure I was most definitely going to experience brain fog the moment I stepped onto the stage.
Anyways,
Hi! I am Durjyo Manish Dey. Too long a name, right? Fine, call me a loser. It’s shorter and describes me best in my present situation. I know you might think I am a sensitive person or whatever. But you know what? You are right because my life is a complete mess.
I had been a winner throughout my life and never faced any problem. I excelled in primary school and always achieved great marks in middle school. I topped the board examinations in my state with a handsome 98 percent and even aced my Class 12 examinations. Moving forward, I chose Literature as my field of study and finally took up public speaking as a career.
I must mention here that my journey in public speaking started way back when I was in Class 8. One fine day, I decided to start a YouTube channel. I named it “DURJYO SPEAKS”. I spoke on several topics there without facing any problem.
What started as fun soon turned serious as my channel gained popularity. I realised that speaking was my inborn aptitude and I could do it without any problem. Many viewers praised me, and I gained more and more subscribers. As a matter of fact, my channel now stands at a proud 6 million subscribers—a milestone that was achieved just four days ago.
And as my best friend mentioned, I do get calls for different shows, and I have also qualified for many competitions.
Mr Rashav Das, my father, is a retired Navy officer, and my mother, Mrs Laxmi Das, is a typical Bengali mom. Both of them admire whatever I speak in front of the camera or on stage flawlessly without any problem.
But then something drastic occurred, a problem that I never expected. Recently, I was invited to a podcast with Dhruv Jyoti Sharma, and there, for some silly reason, I said something inappropriate.
I apologised on the show instantly, but the damage was done. Soon, social media was flooded with funny clips of mine, and that affected me tremendously leading to my problem.
I could have ignored it, but because I had always been a winner, the sudden backlash on the internet affected me deeply.
Local newspapers carried my name in their headlines, and my family had to hear a lot of taunts just because of one small mistake.
A few days before this incident, I had submitted my video to Speaker Slam, and today I received the news that they had selected me to speak on their platform. But after what had happened on Dhruv’s podcast, I had lost all my confidence. The very thought of stepping onto a stage made my mind go blank, and I forgot my lines.
The incident affected me so much that I had stopped appearing on shows for the last five months.
Call me a fool, but I really cannot help it, you see. So it is best that I cancel my tickets for Speaker Slam.
I started crying uncontrollably while sitting inside the car as I recalled my past. The person I was and the person I am today are completely different.
I didn’t know why, but I started honking for no reason. The dogs shifted their positions, giving me annoyed looks. I realised I had disturbed them.
I fetched my phone and found six missed calls from Mom and four from Adi. Somehow, I felt a strange burning sensation inside.
I hurled my phone away. It landed at a distance on the lonely road, which was barely visible under the dim, dusty streetlights.
The next instant, I felt stupid. Thoughts like “Why did I throw my phone?” and “I don’t want to live anymore” crossed my mind.
I stepped out of my new car, which I had gifted myself on my twenty-fifth birthday. The shiny blue colour of the car glowed in the darkness, and the name “Brezza” shone brightly.
I looked around, locked the door, and started walking towards the dim light. And for some reason, my walk suddenly changed into a run. I just ran and ran as if I were running away from my problems. Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I slowed my pace.
The streets felt empty, just like my mind.
It was then, to my surprise, that I noticed a human figure walking towards me.
Whoever was walking was neither an old man nor a teenager. It seemed to be a child.
As the figure came closer, I noticed that the child wore a grey T-shirt and a pair of somewhat dirty trousers. He was barefoot, and his hair seemed messy.
“Uncle, do you need help?” asked the child, now so close that I could identify him as a boy of around nine or ten.
“Sorry?” I said, using my hands to wipe the tears from my face.
“You seem tired. I saw you from a distance when you threw your phone,” he said, blinking his eyes.
The light fell on his face, and I could see him properly now. He had pretty eyes. They were blue, which is very rare nowadays.
“No, beta. I was just…” I started, but he interrupted.
“You are sad, aren’t you?” he said, rubbing his hands because of the cold weather.
“Yes,” I said, smiling for the first time that day.
“Why are you sad? You know, my mom says only foolish people are sad. Are you a fool?” he asked, moving closer to me.
I wanted to say, “Yes, I am the biggest fool” but instead, I asked, “What’s your name?”
“Alok,” he replied gently.
“Great, and who gave you that name?” I asked, staring at him.
“My mom. She says that I will become very bright one day, like the sun. Even my younger sister believes that” he said, smiling.
“Where do you live?” I asked.
“Near the river. We have only one room. Uncle, you didn’t answer my question. Why are you sad?” he asked curiously.
“Because… umm… because...” I mumbled, trying to find the reason.
“Uncle, you don’t know why you’re sad? That’s funny” he said as he giggled.
“Because I will not be able to participate in a competition” I said, breaking eye contact.
“Oh, but why?” he asked with his puppy-dog eyes.
I guess that’s why children are the best—because they are innocent.
“It’s late. You should go home. Your parents will be worried” I said, trying to change the topic.
“My dad is dead, and my mom is not at home. She will return a bit later from work. She sells tea at railway stations” he said and then added, “You answer my question, please!”
“Oh, because I am scared. I have lost my confidence” I finally said.
“What is the competition about?” he asked.
“Speaking. I am a speaker” I said.
“Just like those politicians who speak on TV and make fake promises?” he asked.
“Yes, but I speak about different things, and now I can’t speak because I have lost my confidence” I said, finally realising my condition.
“Well, you are speaking right now” he said, smiling.
“What?” I asked curiously.
“Yes, yes. You have been speaking for such a long time” he said and laughed again.
“I know, but I will go blank on the stage” I said, lowering my head.
“Come with me” he said and pulled my pinky finger.
“Wait!” I tried to stop him, but it was already too late. He had already started taking me somewhere.
We walked straight down the lonely road.
“Where are we going, Alok?” I asked.
“You just follow me” he said, sounding determined.
“Stop!” he suddenly shouted.
“What? What is it?” I asked.
“Look to your left” he said, pointing towards the bushes.
“What is this? Let’s go back. It’s late and…” I started, but he interrupted me.
“This is Doob grass. When my baba was alive, he brought me here. You know, Uncle, this grass survives floods, droughts, and even fires. It turns brown and dies. Then suddenly, when the rains come, it becomes green again. Even farmers call it immortal” he explained.
I simply nodded and understood the deeper meaning behind his words.
“Uncle, if a tiny blade of grass can die and then come back to life, why can’t we humans do the same? Problems come, but that doesn’t mean you should lose yourself” he said with a smile.
“You are actually not...” I started, but he interrupted again.
“Not wrong, right?” he asked.
“But, Alok, I just told my friend that I will not participate in the competition. And what if I lose?” I asked.
“If you lose, then that’s fine. It’s okay to lose, Uncle. We should never stop trying” he said. “Call your friend, Uncle. Life doesn’t give you the same chance twice.”
“But I threw my phone away” I said disappointedly.
“Your phone is here” he said, taking my phone out of his pocket.
Although it was a little cracked, it was still usable.
“Alok, you will grow up to be a great man, beta” I said, patting his head.
“Uncle, always remember that the problem is not actually the problem” he said and waved goodbye.
I watched him run into the cold night, and within a few seconds, he disappeared into the darkness.
I dialled Adi’s number instantly. Although it was 12:30 a.m., I had no other option.
“Hello? I will cancel your tickets in the morning. Let me sleep now” Adi said in a sleepy voice.
“Sorry to disturb you, but don’t cancel my tickets. I am coming to London” I said with a smile, and that smile came from somewhere deep inside my heart.
